I’m Officially Dating…

Myself.

I know you’re probably wondering how I can date myself, but please give me a moment to give you my background story that led me up to this moment.

My last relationship had its high and low points. One of the biggest low points was that we rarely went on dates. All I’ll say is that some years had gone by and the years before that it was few and far between. So yes, it’s been awhile since I’ve actually gone on a date. It’s been two years since I’ve been single and I still haven’t gone on a date.

I really haven’t had the time or energy to even start thinking about dating. In the past, I did go on dating apps just to see what I was missing, but eventually freaked out due to my fear of not knowing who I was truly talking to. Yes, I’ve seen too many episodes of Catfish. Don’t even get me started on the articles and videos I came across about dating app experiences gone horribly wrong. My fear of dating is real people!

Now, let me tell you the real reason I fear dating.

Rejection.

Crazy, right? Before you start yelling at me and telling me how I need to put myself out there to give love a chance. Stop it! I get it. I don’t want to end up alone. No one does, but being out of the game for a really long time can trigger some fears. Plus add in the fact that I’m on a natural hair journey, a vegan journey, a single parent journey and a hello my name is April Austin and if you want kids I’m not your girl journey.

Guys are going to love me, right?

All joking aside, I’m at a point in my life where I don’t want to deal with the bullshit. I’m on a path of learning what I want and don’t want in a relationship for the first time in my life. So, as I go through this journey I’m going to be dating myself. Reconnecting with who I am and really start to enjoy life. I never got a chance to experience that at a younger age. I graduated high school, experienced college for two years before dropping out and two years later became a mom. Like most moms, I was no longer the priority.

Don’t get me wrong, if the right guy comes along I’ll reconsider. Until then, I’m going to be enjoying some much needed me time and who knows if I may bump into someone during one of my outings. That’s how people use to meet back in the old days.

Wow…

I’m officially old.

 

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself…

Back in 2011, I started a blog that followed my screenwriting journey to becoming a working screenwriter. I finally ended that blog back in early 2017 due to the desire of wanting to write about something else. Plus I think I was a little frustrated with my screenwriting journey. Here I am writing about the struggles of how to “break in to Hollywood,” but nothing was really happening for me. It got a little depressing. I even stopped writing for a while. I wasn’t giving up on my dreams. I still wanted to be a working screenwriter, but real life issues were clashing with my fantasy world issues. Basically, my real life issues beat my fantasy worlds ass.

I had a lot of things going on that I had to deal with. I was unhappy with where my life was and I felt like I lost myself. I was single after being in a relationship for eleven years. I was a single mom raising a pre-teen daughter. I was unhappy with my body and the way I was eating. I felt lost and stuck.

So, I decided to do something about it. June of 2017, I decided to go vegan and I haven’t looked back.

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Yes, vegans eat more than just salads.

At the end of August 2017, I did the big chop and it was the best decision I made that year.

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I was 35 and had no idea what my natural hair looked like.

As for my relationship status, I’m still single and have no desire to jump into a relationship. I love being able to just focus on myself and figure out what I want in life. That side of me has been neglected for years. I always sacrificed for everyone else, but now I’m finding time for myself, while still making sure my daughter is number one.

In regards to my writing, I’m just now starting to get back into the swing of things. It’s been a struggle, but I know that I’m at a point in my life where I can balance my personal life and my screenwriting goals.

In essence, that’s what this blog is about…

The journey of April Austin. Let’s see where this road takes me.