I’m Officially Dating…

Myself.

I know you’re probably wondering how I can date myself, but please give me a moment to give you my background story that led me up to this moment.

My last relationship had its high and low points. One of the biggest low points was that we rarely went on dates. All I’ll say is that some years had gone by and the years before that it was few and far between. So yes, it’s been awhile since I’ve actually gone on a date. It’s been two years since I’ve been single and I still haven’t gone on a date.

I really haven’t had the time or energy to even start thinking about dating. In the past, I did go on dating apps just to see what I was missing, but eventually freaked out due to my fear of not knowing who I was truly talking to. Yes, I’ve seen too many episodes of Catfish. Don’t even get me started on the articles and videos I came across about dating app experiences gone horribly wrong. My fear of dating is real people!

Now, let me tell you the real reason I fear dating.

Rejection.

Crazy, right? Before you start yelling at me and telling me how I need to put myself out there to give love a chance. Stop it! I get it. I don’t want to end up alone. No one does, but being out of the game for a really long time can trigger some fears. Plus add in the fact that I’m on a natural hair journey, a vegan journey, a single parent journey and a hello my name is April Austin and if you want kids I’m not your girl journey.

Guys are going to love me, right?

All joking aside, I’m at a point in my life where I don’t want to deal with the bullshit. I’m on a path of learning what I want and don’t want in a relationship for the first time in my life. So, as I go through this journey I’m going to be dating myself. Reconnecting with who I am and really start to enjoy life. I never got a chance to experience that at a younger age. I graduated high school, experienced college for two years before dropping out and two years later became a mom. Like most moms, I was no longer the priority.

Don’t get me wrong, if the right guy comes along I’ll reconsider. Until then, I’m going to be enjoying some much needed me time and who knows if I may bump into someone during one of my outings. That’s how people use to meet back in the old days.

Wow…

I’m officially old.

 

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